Since 2015 my husband, Bill battled Lewy Body Dementia. It is the most aggressive form of dementia. On May 5, 2020 he went home to be with our Lord. When I look back, I don’t know how either of us survived such a hard time. Bill was so brave and handled the disease with such grace even as he got worse. My role as caregiver was uncharted waters for me. I tried to do all I knew to help make his life better. In the end I was forced to surrender to God and His plan for Bill’s and my life. It was not what we both wanted and even now 1 year later, it breaks my heart. You see, I had to put him in a Memory Care facility because I could no longer care for him even with paid caregivers. God was so good that He protected us in so many ways, one being we never fell while I was helping him get from place to place. When I say this, it doesn’t seem such a big deal, but I can’t tell you how many times I was shaking so badly as he held on so tightly as we maneuvered together from place to place.
I didn’t know it, but the worst was yet to come. Covid-19 hit, and they closed the Memory Care Facility and I could only see him through his window. He died alone. How do you live with that?
I was forced to hold on to my Anchor, Jesus Christ. It is true that life can come hard and all you have is Jesus. Surrendering disappointment of what I thought my life would be like at this stage has been one of my biggest struggles. Daily I must remind myself that I don’t know God’s purposes, but I do know His promises. I cling to His promises with my very life.
My life has been turned upside down, but Jesus is like an anchor in a fishing boat. He stops the tossing and turning and keeps the boat steady. He is my anchor and it holds. I don’t know how this new life will work out, do any of us know how our lives will be? I do know that God loves me, and He knows how it will work out.
I know God will give me the grace and mercy needed to walk this new journey without my precious husband Bill. I know with certainty that I am right where God wants me to be, or else I would be somewhere else. I pray that that you too will know God’s Love and know for certain that His anchor will keep you in safe waters.
Jesus, Our Lord and Savior, Loves You.
Much Love and Joy Always, Cissy
These two things cannot change: God cannot lie when He makes a promise, and He cannot lie when He takes an oath. These things encourage us who come to God for safety. They give us strength to hold on to the hope we have been given. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, sure and strong.